I hate this Jeffrey.
Know why?
cause. it's better than mine :]
x

You left msn without saying anything to me. grr. gayface.xo

OH AND. your comments are weird :D

Great poem Jeffrey,

This is the gurl from the library.

Catherine Stephens

Wow. Lovely use of vocabulary.Great poem. 5/5
XxXN-G-C-SXxX

Wow really good 4/5

timehealsallwounds*

:D
well gosh.
it was actually the second.
but i think you're going for number one < 3

Check out mah profile dude :) < 3!x

I lveo hte depth..btu theerse no real detial...example..what color were the raindrops..what was it liek when they fell? Jsut a suggestion..but none hte less i lvoed it.

Lissa

Desperation devours the mind
searching for answers impossible to find

^^I like that part a lot. But the rest is poo. =ll. Sorry. Anyway. Um. good work on those two sentences.

-Jennifer. Overall Rating: 4.3/5

All you wrote about was how it felt. I was expecting more of how it reacted with other things. You are a good poet, don't get me wrong. But. you lack things in your poems sometimes.

So I guess I never reaaaally read this, because I never realized how good it was until now. In the begining, instead of showing the part of suicide (I think that is what it's about?), but instead of showing the need to end his life and whatever unbearable thing that makes him want to, you show his eagerness to end it and "take his flight". Then you show the sort of desperation and dispairity of it.
I like how you make us first think he is waiting to get on the train, and he is waiting to start his life over somewhere new. Tricky tricky.
Last thing. hehe. I like the beginning. Its my favorite. I can picture a body lying across the tracks, sort of uncomfortable and scared. But then rain falling on him, almost in slow motion. And like a rain drop hitting his check, and him looking up at the sky and smiling as more and more hit his face.
ummm that is all. you are sleeping and im sad cuz you arent.......nevermind a wont embarris you, lets just say you arent making a noise. ;-P and i have to take my flight tomorrow as a "lone passenger" and im scuuuured. hehe
"talk to me, tell me your sign, you're switching sides like a gemini"....i'm sorry i should have known you knew your ricky martin (tight white leather pants, noshirt ricky martin) i bet you know him well

Another great poem, flowed beautifully. 5/5