I have absolutely no negative thing to say when I read your stuff. I feel extremely inadequate to critique you! There's no way I would think of myself talented enough to say that you should change this or that. There's really nothing to change. :) Keep it up!
OMG I can't believe I have just come across Holly's mom .....Glad to meet you .
The imagery you have created in this piece is amazing .A wonderfully written piece that paints a clear picture with words.
Sometimes at night they come and sit
To nurse a broken heart
Or some come just to cry a bit
When their lives fall all apart.
Last line in this stanza I would maybe change to :
When their lives fall apart or
When their lives have fallen apart