Comments : Bleeding Mascara

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I loved that poem, the second stanza was my favourite and i loved how you repeated the last 2 lines of every stanza, the flow was very good and the rhyming was plain but catchy.
    overall a very good poem, keep writing, my friend
    love Tara-Kay

  • 11 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Great job - loved the repeatition.

    Tasting death as if it's an antidote drug that heals

    Loved that line. Don't know why lol.
    Really nicely done. I liked the messy makeup references they seemed to tie in well with the title - which is so cool btw.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kaylee

    The poem was good and the repetition of the final two lines worked well. It did have some good descriptions. I'd suggest maybe limiting the words she and her. And also maybe read over the line that has both heart and apart in the same sentence.

    Great write.

  • 11 years ago

    by Polly

    Hey, I like this poem a lot. I love the layout of it and the great descriptions really gave the poem a good flow. I think the repetition of the last two lines in each stanza is really effective. Well done!
    - Polly

  • 11 years ago

    by GoodMorning

    "Empty bottles lay across her tiled bathroom floor,
    As she stumbles down the hallway to find some more"

    i love ^those^ lines. gave me chills.

    good poem, Nat.
    love you.
    i be here if you need to talk, k?

    *hugs*

  • 11 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Wonderful details. Great poem! Keep it up!

  • 11 years ago

    by CourtneyLouxxx

    Such detail!
    "Empty bottles lay across her tiled bathroom floor,
    As she stumbles down the hallway to find some more"
    ^^^ that line is so defining, it gives you a whole outlook!!!
    keep it up gd job

  • 11 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Very well done! I love most of your poems lol. I am so sorry if that's true in any way. I know how a person can hurt you. Don't give up. Someone will most likely be out there for all of us. =) Ok...back to the poem lol...I liked the rhythm (sp) and it rhymed very well. Keep up the good writing. Hope to see some more soon =)

    xoxo
    ¤ Samantha ¤

  • 11 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Hey thanx for reading my poem, Not Enough, i'm glad you liked it. i like this poem alot it has alot of detail, making it like a story kind of. nice job shanik

  • 11 years ago

    by Heather

    I liked this poem a lot. I liked everything about it, the wording, the reptition, etc.
    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Biscuit

    Another great write. ur are very good at rhyming and the flow to this poem is also very strong, i like the repetition of the last 2 lines in each stanza, it might be nice if the final two lines were different tho, just to finish the poem nicely.

    -biscuit-

  • 11 years ago

    by Bridgette

    I love this poem! You described everything so well.. and I like the repetition of the last two lines in each stanza. It gave it a nice effect. My favorite stanza would have to be the last. I loved the whole poem though.. Great job on this! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Nelle

    Wow!!! Talee that was amazing, I am completely and totally speechless..So this is not going to be long, the imagery was perfect i loved how the ending lines were all the same, it gave it great affect! i absolutely loved it! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Darien

    Wow Nat, that is definitely different from any poems I have read from you. Haha, I've obviously said this a million times, but you are talented!! That is why you are my SMAWCE buddy!! and now, my new little sister :P hehe!.. You really described everything so well in this poem. Your rhymes were also great and so was the flow. Awesome job!

  • 11 years ago

    by Suchapoetictradgedy

    I love the way you used Bleeeding Masacra over and over :) It touched me deeply! Your an amazing writer, you captivated and portrayed the pain grafefully!

  • 11 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Excellent poem. I loved how you wrote "Bleeding mascara is all that she's now prone to,
    After all of the things you had to put her through." at the end of each stanza, that really gave it an added touch...5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by ~DyingBlackRose~

    I love this poem!! I can some what relate in a weird way. Great emotion and flowing of the words.
    Take Care
    ~DyingBlackRose~

  • 11 years ago

    by HalfMoon

    5/5

    The repitition had an interesting effect, as it does relate to the title. The meaning is well interpreted and the words tie together nicely, it was easy to understand what was going on, and it wasn't pointlessly random [which is good]. Although I always considered depression from loss of love pathetic this poem is a good read.

    Keep feeding your talents.

  • 11 years ago

    by littleshadowgirl

    Wow i love your poem it reminds me so much of my life at home
    keep writeing sweetie

    5/5

  • Hey Great poem its so powerful, i love your choice of words! your a wonderful poet keep it up, love mel