No longer yearning your touch
Searching hysterically for a hideaway
`This gave me one of the most powerful images I've ever imagined from poetry -- the use of "hysterical" made the words so much more potent. I could just feel the emotion.
The biggest secret that I have hid
Shocking it appears to be
Is praying nightly for your death
Violent and brutal may it be
`Oh, hauntingly beautiful ending. I've never seen one like it and I respect you dearly for writing these words. Many of my friends get abused and they won't accept hate -- just the pain and the sadness. They wont come straight out and say how they really feel inside because they're so afraid. Thank you, because this gives me hope that one day, they will finally leave and be able to stand up for themselves.
Now on the typical stuff that I critique people on, the flow was rocky, and the length of stanzas alternated flimsly for me, but despite that, your choice of vocabulary was gripping. It started out subtle, and just burst into climax with a explosion of beautifully picked words.