Comments : Love, your best friend

  • 12 years ago

    by LaLaROX

    This was an outstanding poem i loved it, keep up the good work

  • Very nice poem... loved the descriptive words, ur bestie is lucky 2 have such a friend....

  • 12 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Aww that's something so sweet that you wrote for your friends. It's deep, and has loads of meaning.

    The flow was excellent. I really didn't seem to find that it was rocky at all. I just found one mistake:

    [Peanut butter and jelly, together at {last}
    Now I can safely say that this friendship will {last}]
    ^^You rhymed {last} with {last}. I wouldn't really call it rhyming, but in a rhyming poem, you just can't have the same two words. It just doesn't work out.

    But other than that, the imagery was great, and this poem really got to me. It made me think of how close my friends are with me, but that some are leaving to go to a different school. =( But I guess you can't have all that's in life, and I'll meet new friends, so it's all good lol. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 12 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    And if any guy ever comes too close
    I can assure you that he'll be toast
    ^This is the one stanza I did not like. It sounded like it was a forced rhyme. Over all everything seemd ok. The rhythem of the poem was a little rocky but keep writing and improving it was a very good poem though. 5/5
    God Bless.

    ~*Tay*~

  • 12 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    This was a really good poem. I agree with the other person about the word 'toast' sounding a little forced, but if I were you I wouldn't change it, because it sounds like a typical thing you might say to your best friend, so adds to the natural and realistic ability of this poem.