This is such a good poem. You kept me interested the whole way through, and the title is eye-catching too. Great word choice, not too simple, but not too complicated, it made the poem easy to read, but with great description. Excellent, unique poem. Keep it up. =] 5/5
This is a excellent piece you have written. Your word choices were great. The flow. Everything about it was great. It was also a pleasure to read. I love the way you used the last line as your title. Excellent!
I LOVE this. Seriously, it was amazing. Great choice and usage of vocabulary throughtout, great rhyming, quite dark, and the description is excellent! I loved the flow of it, the lanuage usage and the structure. It all comes togerther perfectly. Cant think of a thing bad about it, keep up the great work and i really look forward to reading some more. xx
That was an awesome read. I loved the poem and it was intriguing straight thru to the end. I love how you ended it, using the last words for the title.
Another thing I thought was very original was the style used...everyother line was a rhyme and it wasn't forced....most times you see the second and forth lines rhyme.
Very pleasurable read and very unique.
You do got mad skillz with a pencil my poetic friend...5/5
Hmm..I'm not sure I've said this before, but you're really, really talented! Oh my, what a poem! I love the imagery and your words were so deep. I love how you wrote this poem! And the title is great! One small thing I'd like to point out:
"But it will already be *to* (too) late, when you realize,"
Anyway, just thought I'd point that out! Overall, this poem is very very well done! It's such a great read!
Wow. It amazed me how many large words you put into here, but still having a flow to te poem at the same time. Not many people can do that.
I thought the flow was a little off in the first stanza the most, but otherwise I liked it a lot. There was true emotion and brains as well. =P You didn't just 'write.' You thought of what it was going to look like, and I like when poems are thought out before people write. Well done. =) 5/5 xoxo
I tend to like poems with lines in them that act as adjective or adverb clauses. Just saying something, anything, that hits within the same ballpark of what you're feeling, that leads people to a vague understanding.. thats what I got from this one. Yes, it was about temptation, but you could have said those things about any other negative feeling or idea and it would still make perfect sense. Good job (again..)
This is an amazing poem.. its got great rhyme and flow.. its great detial and has a great ending.. i know you dont like one liners.. but i really dont know what to say... its good and there absolutely nothing to be critiqued..
Wow, This was very nicely done. I absolutley loved it. It was very intriquing. I don't see one thing wrong with this. It was so perfect. The imagery that it painted in my head was so beautiful & amazing. Excellent Job. Keep it up, Hun.