I like the story the poem tells the reader. On the other hand I couldn't get into the rhythm of the poem. The syllable count was off and I had trouble following the trasitions from line to line. It seems like you've varied a little from your normal style and you've taken a risk. I enjoyed the poem but I would liked to have seen a little more flow. Anyway, I still thought that the poem was great considering the brilliant use of literary devices. Therefore, I will rate this poem a 5/5 as well.