I LOVE this poem!!! i can really relate cuz i feel the same way your really good at writing and from what i can tell from reading your poems your improving with every one!! keep writing much love~! <3 nicole
p.s.. check out my poems if u get the chance thanx
Well, it wasn't what I had expected. It was better than what I expected. I did notice, each second line wasn't capitalized..which usually bugs me, but not all poets do it. And there were a few lines that were longer than the rest, when if you switched a few words around or took it down to the next line, it would look a lot neater as well.
You did, however, do a great job in displaying the emotion of this poem without making it too typically a cutting poem. It had great imagery, and I really liked the line "when she saw a stray tear line from her daughters eye." That line truly took my breath away, it captivated me and I really liked it. It made the feel of the poem more intense knowing that the daughter had just died moments ago..with tears in her eyes and misery in her heart.
Also, this poem sends a significant message. How even the happiest person that you know may be super depressed. Which, more people need to realize. Great job though, overall, I really enjoyed reading this. =)