I see yours eyes = I see it in your eyes

I see your hands = I see it in your hands

I see your heart = In it, I see your heart...

Beating as fast as mine = Beating Just as fast as mine

Other than those corrections, this poem was swell, m'dear. A little too corny for my taste, but over all well written and from the heart.

5/5
Good job =]
~Stephen White

Hey there! I agree with the first correction Stephen made, but besides that I think you can leave it as is. I actually liked the repetition.

That said, my first impression of the poem was that the second stanza was quite redundant. I know you're revisiting the themes of the first section, but they were merely altered - there wasn't really anything new offered. You could possibly consider introducing the elements of stanza 2 into the first one, and say, for example: "When I see the sky, I see your blue eyes. When I see a rose, I see your gentle hands..." and then just get rid of the second one altogether. That's just my personal opinion, but maybe the way you have it is how you like it better.

I really liked these lines: "When I see a waterfall
I see your heart
Beating as fast as mine
When I see you
I fill like a million oceans."

I thought that was a rather mature simile, to compare the beating of a waterfall to the beating of hearts - especially from an 11 year old!

Welcome to p and q! Hope you like it here.

Thanks!

Hey, thanks for the comment you left me, I think it took me a couple hours to write it.
In terms of your poem..
I think It's an awesome poem!
It made me "aww" Lol.
Very well written I really liked it.
=)
-Lisa

This doesnt make sence

Well, then i guess love does not make sence!

You 11, and thats great this poem has such a feeling of love its great, 5/5

Ya im 11

The first part didnt make much since until I read the second then it all came in to focuse good Piece I liked it Plot121

This is a cute poem...your writing will get much better with age, but this is a great place to start! This is the best of your poems in my opinion! :)

W0W ! Y0U`RE 0NLY 11... THiS P0EM iS CUTE. THiS iS A GREAT START.

This was a pretty poem. i like how you repeated the waterfall, sky, and rose. its a nice way to say i love you.

I think this is a good poem but has the potential to be great... the second stanza is almost the same thing as the first.. its good that you went back over the original ideas but you should add moret o it.. try adding more descrptions to make the image more vivid and try adding more detail.. use every emotion you feel when you see this person and write down as much as you can to describe so that the reader really feels how you feels and understands how you feel inside