Wow. I have no idea why I was shocked at the end, Lol. My mouth dropped. :/ What a horrible way to die,eh.
The poem was perfect, seriously. The flow, wording, rhyming and such. I particularly [sp] liked your choice of vocabulary. It was quite amazing. :]

Wonderful Job, once again.
keep it up, hun.
<3 teria.

Very nice!! real emotion. nice job. keep writing

Aww...well I love the way you talked about acidic rain. That's just a really cool topic, now that I think of it. What really bummed me was that you killed the character. Now it's your poem, and like everyone else said, it's perfect. However, I would have liked it if the guy didn't die...I mean even though he died figuratively speaking >.< hehe...I'm just tired of people dieing in poems. Besides my state of mind right now, wow nice job! I liked the poem and the usage of words.

A sad way to die... a beautifully written poem and an amazing choice of words, though...

i can also feel related to it... it reminds me of my own life...
well, anyway, it's a wonderful poem and you're a very talented writer.
keep on writing
*isabel*

Be glad that at least they see you as a friend... to the one I feel for, I am who used to be a friend... that turned into a flirt that couldn't stop waving at him...

I can only hope to pick up the pieces... at least you have a few pieces... I have to start all over :)

Show them that you can be there for them... even friends are there through everything!

~Rain

btw... plz write more ^_^

I liked ure poem but the ending was sad. But using expessive words made me inspired by ure work. Hehe. WEll keep up the great work and please do write often. I would like to read more of ure poems.

Thats a really good poem!

I love the poem, sad ending, well written

This poem is sad, but i like it. the words just kinda flowed like water, y'know? keep up the good work!!

I really love dis poem

"Thunder rolls through the blackening skies
As my eyelids fall over my lolling eyes
Acidic lies fall from the sky like rain
Burning my skin and rinsing the pain"

^^ I wasn't keen on "sky like rain" as it's commonly used, however I loved the usage of acidic lies here, it really captured my attention.

"Your cold shoulder causes my heart to freeze
Sending shivers down my spine with each breeze
Spinning in a lugubrious silence
With loneliness numbing my sense"

^^I didn'tlike this stanza..the first two lines seem of with the flow to me, and I didn't like the last two rhymes..maybe reword it or work on it a little?

"Laying on the floor gasping for breath
I perceive the dark visage of death
I realize why I died as I begin to descend
You came to regard me as only a friend"

^^You make up for the previous stanza with this one. The closing here is just beautiful, really hits the reader and tugs on the heart strings.

I think this is good, but not your best.