anyway... this is a well structured piece, the rhyming is good as well as it seems natural and not forced. Also the rhythm/ flow is nice and constant throughout, apart from the last stanza which is slightly longer and slower and stands out (in a good way).
In the third stanza i think that 'The greatness to whom I compete.' should be 'The greatness with whom I compete.' ??
Overall a very emotive poem which describes some common feelings which im sure a lot of people can relate to. good job!
The poem is very nice...
i have 2 questions, though...
are the capital letters supposed to be that way?
the -- in the middle or at the beginning of some lines is supposed to be there?
i mean, it can be considered another way of expressing your message, but...i don't know...
it looks a bit strange...
the poem is very nice though...very well structured, good flow and very emotional...
but maybe you ought to change the appearance a little bit...
(the capital letters and -- can't make anyone downrate...=) )
Didn't find anything in there wrong.
No grammar, spelling, I'm only good at that.
I hate cliches, and I have to make this up
So you'd find my comment to your liking.
Well, kind of made it up.
In the first stanza
--Broken, and it's no surprise.
And kind of ruins the flow for me.
Take it out?
I would say this poem was cliched.
But then you explained your feelings so well.
When I read this...
I pictured a random guy from the street
Don't leave me.
Ohhh this was beautiful!
So elegantly written, and so much depth and emotion behind the words.
The opening was perfect, really pulled me in and from there on it just got better and better.
My favourite part was:
''Here, you lock me --here, I'm bound--
Locked In chains, I Rocket Down
You walked away (I'm in the dark )
And Left me here to Sit and Rot''
I thought it held a lot of power, and it really stood out.
I loved the ending, I thought it was very intense and such a great way to wrap up.
Flow was flawless throughout, imagery created vivid pictures and the rhyme scheme and word choice are enjoyable.
I think this poem is awesome and dont ever feel that you not good enough for someone if they leave you it just wasnt meant to be if you had did things differently it still wouldnt have mattered so dont be hard on yourself if this poem is about you! 5/5 awesome