COMEDY (Being Deaf)

I was born deaf, some people say it's a gift... and I gotta hand it to them.. it really is, and I'm starting to believe. No I'm not 100% deaf.. I can hear.. up 40-60% while the rest of you have about 75 - 85% .. But I was about 2 years old when my parents got me hearing aids.. (What you dont' know what those are? Their super power is what they are.) Ya know I can hear.. 10x better then you can, or I can be as deaf as I fuking want to. It's great lol. I tell my friends, "hey bro, I can't fuking hear you, I have selective hearing.. " pat him on the back and kinda just walk away. He's all confused like "WTF dude I'm telling you something important."
Yeah it's awesome. Except it sucks when I get feed back in them (a high pitched WHISTLE) That I can't hear but everyone else can lol. OH it's good times.. I do it just for fun sometimes I'll be sitting there.. at school with the rest of the class.. it's quiet because we're doing a test of something like that.(EEEEENNNNNNNNLIIIIIIINNNGGGGGSSSSSTTTLLLLIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAA) And the teacher checks her computer .. "ummm.. hands up if you know how to fix computers..?" Smart kid comes and figures out it's quite fine.. (ENNNNNNNLIIINNGGGGSTTTTTTTTILLLLINGGGGGAAAAAAA) "um no, it's making wierd noises." I'm just kinda sitting there laughing. Gotta try to keep it in. It's good times. But then their's my friends who know what the nosie realyl is and they HAVE to tell me to do it right when a hot chick passes by.. "Andrew do that thing man.. it's sooo sweet." So I cover my ears and to cause feedback.. and right around the corner.. I look like an ass, this beautiful chick just passes right by.. looks at me like I'm an idiot.. EVERYTIME.. lol. I got super advantages with them though I can sleep through the night on the noisest street in the flipping world.. as long as I have a pillow I could do it. Just fall alseep.. I won't hear a damn thing. I'll be out like a rock not waking up till about.. noon. lol.
lol this one day this girl found out about my hearing.. and she said.. "okay turn it off.. I want to see if you can hear me" So I did.. I turned it back on right away off course.. "can you hear me?" I'm looking down pretending I can't.. "Andrew!!! can you HEAR ME??" I looked at her confused.. she starts laughing and then whispering stuff to her friend... Yeah I caught every word she said. She starts laughing, and then said "I think he's cute.. but I don't think I'd be able to handle that hearing thing.. " IT hurt.. but I acted like I hadn't heard it.. lol ya know just said "okay now I can hear you.. watchu two up to for lunch? Oh I gota go to my next class" sped away. lol It was awkard.
Sleeping Peacefully, Hearing Better then Average.. Fighting Off Headaches.. Yeah super advantages..
Not water proof.. Yeah disadvantage.. I can't really swim and hear.. is pretty much my only disadvantage.
Oh and paying.. 4000+ bucks.. for them.. and about 40 bucks on batterys to last 6 months :P money buster.