Wow. At first I didn't even realize that she was dead. I loved the wording and the picture you painted for me. The emotion was deep and the peice was heartbreaking. The flow was smooth and you held my attention throughout the whole peice. Great job!
This poem was superfluously perfect =] I have been looking for those poems that don't suck, for lack of a better word. I haven't been reading nor commenting that much, and I found this poem looking promising and delectable, and it has quenched my stubborn and strict desires.
The story line was well hidden, and expressed with a sense of secrecy between the pens holder and the pens victim. I enjoyed the descriptive language you had, and the first line was interesting. For a second, I almost hit backspace to go to the last page, but then I read the rest of the line and was immediately sucked it.
You have told a story that I am all to familiar with at the moment,
and I guess we are all fools in love.
this is most certainly not what i expected. however that isn't say that it was bad, i did really like it, but it seemed slightly odd, or atleast compared to what i have read on this site. a very good write, my fav stanzas are the first and last.
a cold poem, but absolutely not dreary. i'm not too sure how i can really critique this poem, perhaps more structure to it? although that is probably just the way you write, which means don't change. lol.
a fantastic write though, the story wasn't overly in depth but just the right amount. the words used were used well and in perfect context with the feelings you were trying to achieve. all in all, an awesome write, 5/5
My God! This is one intresting entry that I'm very grateful I stummbled upon!
What I like about your writting is that you say it is prose, but in essence, it's still like well thought out poetry. Also, your two beginning stanzas were totally gripping and set the mood in just right! Finally, I also liked how it was one moment after another, instead of a poem was just one idea. This one truly stands out and I give you (sadly, I can't go higher) a 5/5!