The capitalization of every first line is distracting to me, but this is a personal decision and is much like many modern poets (however with a piece this powerful and heartbreaking I truly believe it would do you better to not capitalize all of them.) I like the way you trail off every few lines. Like you are trying to give more of a pause than a line break would and it also formed your voice too (which is a skill many poets seem to ignore and forget...)

I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.