Comments : Just for you

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Hi, I do like this because it's relatable in so many ways. We all make mistakes but a great poet on here said aslong as the regrets are right ones then there isn't a problem, right?

    1: A vey emotional opening; questioning what went wrong, why has this person hurt you? What did you do wrong to deserve this pain? And I guess we can all relate to being hurt once in our lives and if not now then we probably will at some point.

    2: Lovely stanza, wanting this person to be your everything and let you love them and make them feel special.
    I was thinking that maybe saying just continuously you could do this... (only a suggestion)

    "Just, I want to make you....
    my flower,
    my moon,
    my life
    And to leave some tension maybe leave a line then put some .... Before the next stanza

    3: Again, I like here how you tell us this person is your everything but I think the repetition of because is unnecessary and maybe you could do this

    "Because -

    you are my dream
    you are my love
    you are my everything
    you are my everyone."

    Remember these are only suggestions and you don't have to use them
    All in all a wonderful write.
    Em