Does age truly matter?

So I've been dating this guy for a while now and there's a bit of an age gap. I'm 14, he's 19 almost 20. Now yes, I know we can't have sexual interactions with each other, and we abide by that rule. We're waiting until I'm 18. Which isn't always the easiest because I get urges too because I'm openly not a virgin. Long story that I regret about that. Anyways, is it really that bad that there's an age gap? You always here about people, both adults having like a 10 year age gap and mine is only like 6. It would be like dating one of my brother's friends and some of them have liked me. My maturity level is greater than most people my age because of the stuff I've been through. So give me your opinion, is it really that bad?

Imagine being 20. Would you consider dating a 14 year old boy (even if it were legal)? Why or why not? As a 14 year old, would you date an 8 year old? Why or why not?

Generally, the older you get, the less the age gap matters. Who cares about the difference between 40 and 50? While it would still be a stretch for me, at those ages, you're at least probably in similar places in life, professionally and emotionally.

At your age, 6 years is a huge deal. It's nearly 50% of your lifespan. Imagine living half of the entirety of your existence again - that's the kind of time you're talking about. People say "age is just a number," but no, not really. That number stands for a whole cycle around the sun that you've had to live, learn, grow, and experience.

A 14 year old is concerned with friends, school, activities, and family. It's not an easy time for most people, and especially hard for some, but people of that age tend to have common experiences and focuses. What you know and what you believe about yourself and your life will probably drastically change by the time you're 16, let alone 20. Even at 20, you're still shifting around a lot.

A 20 year old is generally concerned with career, education, and establishing his/herself as an autonomous individual. He's probably figuring out what to do with his life, while you still have at least 4 more years left of highschool.

I'm not that old (25), but I can let you in on a little secret: Almost any teenage girl you point at on the street will tell you that she's more mature than most of her peers. Some people really have put up with a lot at a young age, and that might mean you're tough, but it doesn't always mean you're emotionally mature - the way you need to be to pursue a stable, fulfilling adult relationship. You can be horny and passionate at 14, but I don't know if you can be stable.

Another insight, which may perhaps be more important: Any adult, man or woman, who sees a 20 year old dating a 14 year old is not going to thing "how romantic... they must be in love." They're going to think the guy is skeevy, and wonder why he can't get a girl his own age.

Anyway. It works out for some people, I'm sure. But it usually doesn't, and there's usually good reason. If you stay with this guy, I support your determination to be non-sexual (though, at that point, if you're waiting anyway... why not just be friends and work on your emotional relationship?), and I wish you good luck with that.

Woooooooooooooooow..................soooooooooo.... long...

hmmmm....maybe it depends on the love you feel and on the situation...

I think age at this point does matter, though that doesn't mean you can't have a stable relationship. You can do that if you both understand the differences Sibs just explained. Not only that, but you should also take things slow...and he should understand this as much as you do... I mean a four year relationship without sex could be hard for him (and you of course) and you both should stick to your plan and be patient.
Good luck

Hmmm.

I can quite understand this. My ex (who is my son's dad) is 19 years older than I am.

HOWEVER:

We met when I was 20..so, legal age regarding sex.

You are so young..and (I am assuming unless you are in Holland-I'm not aware of another state with the legal age regarding sex being so young? ) under the legal age in sexual terms.

So my advice would be the following:

If you truly believe you can make it and not break any laws, if you believe in him and you trust him in regards to this (and I am aware I may be shot down for my opinions here) but..then, why not?

Love is love..and if it IS love..he will have no problems waiting. If he does..he isn't worth it anyway, even if you were the same age -exactly.-

I guess in the long term..it comes down to your personality/character AND his.

You know the dangers, the risks..you have to decide..is it worth it. (and again..remember the law.)

I dont think age matters to an extent because when youre older its fine but when youre younger i think its a bit much. even if yyoure mature for your age you still have alot of growing up to do

Sibyllene took the words out of my mouth. Completely agree 100% with everything she said. Age does matter at a certain point in someones life. I loved the analogy of dating an 8 year old when you're 14. The reason why you wouldn't are close to the same reasons why 20 year olds don't normally date 14 year olds. Age gaps don't matter as time goes on in ones life. 20 and 30 while still eyebrow raising (different stages of each others life.) 30 and 40 meh, 40 and 50, meh 50 and 60 all no big deals. Again all of which Sibyllene pointed out.

So to answer your question in a quick and simple manner. In your situation yes age does matter.

I completalyi agree with liquid grace