Comments : Daggers Speak Louder Then Words

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    I really don't prefer your sarcastic style so this one didn't impressed much as your others, it still absolutely deserves top grades but I personally don't like tone of whole piece. Overall I appreciate originality of this poem, your words are always refreshing and enjoyable to read.

    -Puncture intoxicating "pricks" of a rose thorns internal organs,
    Oh I do believe that was a metaphor soaked in bitter sarcasm,
    You say "Daggers speak louder then words" Oh what a cliche.
    Did you honestly think I'd be fooled by the rubbish you now talk,
    Shh, or I'll slit that hissing tongue for speaking your snake lies,
    You know I'm an arsenic writer, A dagger just couldn't beat this-

    ^Start of the poem is captivating and you kept my attention absolutely with whole poem. But except first three lines I somehow don't like this stanza too much.

    -I'll paint our world in charcoal as it has become quite a fascination,
    Though I must spray it with a fixative or surely it shall blow away.
    An artificial glue to keep, Our "London bridge" from falling down.
    Oh look it's highly flammable, Lets see how good of an arsenic I'll be,
    Playing with burning fire has always been an interesting game to you.
    Baby lets switch roles as I become the ice and you the loving flame.-

    I already said you, something makes me to dislike rhythm and tone of every sarcastic piece that I ever read, I guess that I don't like sarcasm in poetry.

    Overall you wrote amazing piece for breaking a writer's block, keep writing!