Comments : Rough

  • 16 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    Wow, now that was definitely worth the read. Great job on this write.

    >>The electric fence is off
    Now all us dogs run free
    Out we go into a world
    Of violence, and cruelty<<

    This stanza speaks volumes about the "rehabilitation" It saddens me that once released people fall back into their own lives and are consumed by it. You have nailed that in this stanza.

    In my opinion you could have done the poem a little more justice by deleting the "I cried" in this stanza leaving it just...."suspicious of your jest" It threw off the flow of the poem, but that is my opinion.

    How could I have known,
    I cried, suspicious of your jest

    Again, great job and looking forward to reading more from you.