Comments : These Words Mean Nothing

  • 16 years ago

    by StandStill

    I'm going to play dissect-a-poem today:

    I'd tell you how I feel
    If I thought you'd care
    If I thought it could change things
    I'd have told you then and there

    ^ i completely understand, mr tomato.....how much change i wish this world could provide..then i'd dry my eyes...

    Cause then and there I realized
    Why this smile feels so strange
    In reality things like this
    Things like this don't change

    ^ treasure that smile....

    In my sleep I'm smiling
    Smiling 'til the end
    But reality kills this smile
    When that smiles just pretend

    ^ reality sux. make your own. eventually, it falls apart, but it lasts a while..just like a dream...

    These happy words mean nothing
    In the end they turn to pain
    Little showers may stop the drought
    But you'll die drowning in the rain

    ^ the last two lines of this are just so amazing...it's a great metaphor..the best i've seen in a long time.

    All these words mean nothing
    Except the way this ends
    All my poems end this way
    Cause in the end we're still just friends

    ^ justfriends is a new disease....

    in short, horrible poem. i wish you would stop writing them.

    naw! jk....loved it!

  • 16 years ago

    by RB

    "In my sleep I'm smiling
    Smiling 'til the end
    But reality kills this smile
    When that smiles just pretend"

    ^perfectly worded stanza!! i know this feeling and can relate. soemtimes you just want to escape to your dreams where anything is possible but in the end when you wake up you know its all a lie.

    "These happy words mean nothing
    In the end they turn to pain
    Little showers may stop the drought
    But you'll die drowning in the rain"

    ^um..wow! great imagery. sometimes crying does make u feel better though!! it helps to release some of the pain ur feeling.

    overall great job!!! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Oh wow great poem. i so can relate to it. it had a great flow and word choice. it rhymed good. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by MeltInHisArms

    Wow, very powerful and true. u should show her this poem. best of luck 5/5
    xoxo
    ~me~