A better day will come soon xxxxxx

good poem xxx

First off I would like to thank you for your honest critiques on my 3 poems, very much appreciated hun.
Also welcome to P&Q, it is very nice to see another magnificent write grace this site ... so welcome once again.

Scattered pieces of a broken soul,
How to recollect, need some reconstruction.
I feel my life, so out of control.
Does anyone have any advice, some form of instruction?
^^^
I think we all fall subject to these emotions at some time. If only life had a manual a form of guidance to help us along the way. A stanza so many will relate to.

How did he make me feel so utterly worthless?
So demeaned in my very own eyes.
I didn't think I'd be so damn speechless,
The moment we said our last goodbyes.
^^^
Isn't it funny how others can break our spirits ... make us feel worthless and alone. When all we really ever ask for in life is to be loved. Why is that so impossible at times we ask ourselves.

I walk alone today,
Wishing I did not have this emptiness,
Just praying that soon will come a better day.
So many feelings I never got to express.
^^^
This last stanza is so heart touching. That feeling of emptiness creates such a deep hole in our hearts, breaks us to pieces leaving us feeling as in your title (hopeless)

A very emotion filled write you have penned here. You've dipped your pen in tears and created a piece so many can relate to.

Just praying that soon will come a better day
^^^
It will dear heart .... it will

Touching write!
Luanne

I wouldn't say this piece is a lot less powerful, but perhaps a lot less intense. The second stanza is by far my favorite, once again, probably because of the flow. Once again you've used good words, especially when rhyming, which makes your pieces that little more original.

Brad

This one too narrates the agony one our pain which as humans we feel time to time....
Hopelesses gathers and frustates the mind...
the poem ends beautifully with an optimistic approach...
Just praying that soon will come a better day.
The title and this contrastive line reflect the Life's phenomenon in the poem... well written.

The first line is so cold, actually the whole poem is cold and sad and the exact feelings that you would have if someone you loved left, and you expressed it beautifully.

How did he make me feel so utterly worthless?
- a retourical question placed in a very good spot in the poem, i ask mysel fthis very often..actually which girl doens't. cause it will never seem possible that he could make you feel like this, its an awful feeling.

teh last two lines of the second stanza would be my favorite i have to say, something that i have experienced myself, and i feel connected too.

the last line really shows your emotions, and how badly it hurt you, because there will always be a regret after a relationship breaks up that you never got a chance to say and do the things you won't an dit sucks.

overall, this poem was a little bit to simple, if you worked on it a little bit more it could be a great piece of work, but then again the simplity of a poem of this subject sometimes expresses that you are hurting so bad that its impossible to let out all your feelings and that is why it is so short and sweet, well thats my interpretation of it. you used good vocabulary, it was carefully picked, and easily understood which is a good thing because big words don't always make a poem.

be strong.
good work
amy x

Short but sweet....or sad....you know what I mean,lol,Very well written as is all your work. ;)