Nice flow okay but it could be better i know you try and soon you will be great to be fair its 4/5 ,great jop

I think you have a talent, great potential and you are a brilliant writer of english for one who is not english.
Your words are beautiful, your flow in this wasnt brilliant but to me i do not care, i loved this

Ok I was almost completely lost on this one or my shaspere is really bad. I got a little bit of the jist but it was still hard to read Plot121