Comments : A touch of hell

  • 16 years ago

    by Phoenix

    This is a great start although it could use a little more. And I know thats an annoying comment trust me I've gotten it a few times myself. But this sounds like the beginning of a great poem but it needs more. Such as:

    The earth opens below me
    My (your first line)
    (Your second line)
    The flames licking my skin

    So on and so forth. you could add so much more to this and make it an even more amazing poem. But you don't have to listen if you like it the way it is. But I hope I helped a little.