Oh wow. Its so striaght forward. Its so edgy and rough. I dont understand the change of sturcture half way through. It doesnt seem to add anything overly positive to the peice. The ryhme scheme was nice and it just dropped abruptly.

Bravo! Interesting poem, very unusual and unique subject, overall you did excellent job with writing this one. I love it's atmosphere, very descriptive and creative.

Very discriptive for such a short poem.

A number is your destined fate
from the beginning its already too late
from birth your equaled to the dead,
remember in life's long string
your just a poor little thread.

I really like the ending. It gives a sense of
whether young or old you have no hope

You opened this poem so alluringly. [is that a word?] And the title really drew me in, this poem had a dark vibe to it and i really like it. I could really feel the intensity of the piece. Perfectly written, a great write. 5/5.