Comments : I told him I loveD him

  • 16 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    "I told him I loved him
    but he refused to care
    I told him to come back with me
    but there was a problem there..
    a new member in the way"

    I love this first stanza it draws readers in. And I like your rhyme scheme of ABCBD, its uncommon, but I liked the way you used it.

    "yes, he had a new love
    this was hard to understand
    I was supposed to be her only one"

    I love this part of your second stanza, Its innocent and honest. Many can relate to this which makes many people want to read this poem.

    "he didn't love me anymore
    the guy who I adore
    how could I let him go?
    I felt like a fool...I was a fool"

    Again more honesty in this poem. I love this. Its so good and complex. I don't know what else to say about it but amazing.

    "but I decided...if I loved him...I'll let him go"

    Many can relate to this and I love how you put it into words because it is so true.

    "but like a miracle he called
    he asked to go out
    everything was so confusing
    it seems like he was choosing"

    I love this happy turn around in a sad poem, makes readers feel better from the hope and sadness they had from reading the start of this poem. I like how you turn this around its perfect.

    "and like an angel he appeared
    he finished my nightmare with a kiss
    finally I understand...
    he was giving me a second chance "

    Such a fairy tale ending. I loved it. Good job with this poem Keep it up I enjoyed reading this. You should check out some of my poetry sometime ;) good job :D