Nice job, i like the layout choice.
maybe try to rhyme a little more, but over all, great job justin, especially when your new to writing.

<katelyn3

Aw this poem was just as good as the last really liked it.=D

Very nice, Justin.
You are a sweet suprise on this site!

Take care,

5/5 Ingrid

He treats you like crap
but you still stay with him
He gives you some slaps
and even breaks your limbs

^^ Wow right to the point type of start. Nice job with that, it really pulled me in. Though it also made me remember how hard it is for people to watch others in "bad" abusive relationships.

You cry everytime
and everytime i listen
but i dont understand why
hes the one your always kissen

^^ Pointing this out makes the reader think whoever you wrote this for should think about what they're doing and whats happening. Also I think kissen is kissin' or kissen' to be grammatically acceptable however I'm not sure.

Why cant you see
that im in love with you
with you is where i wanna be
and to you ill always be true

^^ I knew this was coming lol, otherwise you wouldn't be writing this as a love poem. Anyway it makes sense and it shows your voice and simply says, what you mean. There's no confusing metaphor or dancing around your point.

He fills your head
with all of his lies
He'd careless if you were dead
or if you even said good-bye

^^ You're describing more of this jerk than yourself or even the person you are writing to, this is an interesting choice.

But somtime you will see
and then you will know
its me who will be on my knees
and reciting the propose

^^ Here we learn just how much you love the person this is for and we see just why you care so much about them being with another.

And even if this
isnt the way it all ends
just remeber one thing
I'll ALWAYS be your friend

^^ Anyone would be happy to know this. It's a light and airy way to end the piece.

Nice piece all in all, I liked it. Great job.

~MRK

Aw thats really really cute :) it was very well written and you can tell it came from the heart :) 5/5

I wish there were more guys like you in the world Justin. Loved your poem <3