I like the metaphors in this. It's a good poem. Though I do think you could have gotten into more detail about the course of one's life the length of it now is fine as well. Just a little too short for my liking. Regardless, you've besically summed up someone's life- or the very general things in it. I like the message it brings..in the last two lines:

"live your life and don't die young
you get one chance and then your done"

^That's the thing about life, many of us throw it away not realising that it's actually a precious gift and you only get one. One chance to scew it up, one chance to be who you want to be not who everyone else wants to shape you into, one chance to love the one's you love and show it, one chance to hate, to feel..one chance to live. At the end of the day life, I suppose, life is what we chose to make of it. Beautiful poem! Keep writing. =]
--Viola

Thats mostly true and I liked how you put it out there cause I thought the same thing and I to have wasted away my life and I to wonder why I put myself through what I do just to die in the end.

Love it!!
5/5

This was a really inspiring poem. You have a lot of talent thats for sure. great job

live your life and don't die young
you get one chance and then your done

^^^my favorite stanza. It really spoke to me. Keep up the good work 5/5
~Forever Broken~

Wow Lance...you have written exactly as i tried to portray in one of my poems < sadly ididnt do as well> but fantastic job....:-)

ps i loved...

Wow i really like this one very true. this holds an excellent stand point. good job 5/5