Comments : Rekindled by a kiss

  • 14 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    ..
    Rekindled by a kiss.
    ^
    This tells the reader exactly what to expect. I am sure this is your intention; however, I feel that a title that is more ambiguous is intriguing, and so is more likely to be read. Maybe - Waking Embers? See what I mean?

    A broken heart fixed by a kiss
    a sour goodbye fixed by a touch
    ^
    I love the second line, the word 'sour' really gives a strong image/taste for how painful the 'goodbye' was.

    Your lips next to mine,
    that is so divine.
    ^
    Nice rhyme.

    Kissing me in the awakening of a torn soul,
    is what i needed to get before,
    life ends with out the feeling of love.
    ^
    The possibility of being kissed in a rejuvenated soul is profound, like this person has climbed inside you and delivered the exact miracle in order to save your life.

    Your tender touch is what I need,
    to get me through the day and put me to sleep.
    ^
    This sums up the importance of this person, the need for their love to get you through the day.

    Nobody can make me feel the way you do.
    ^
    This is a nice touch, leaving this statement as a line on its own, making it more powerful.

    A relationship that was done and over with,
    has been rekindled by a sweet never ending kiss
    and the caress of your soft touch.
    ^
    Summarising the poem as a conclusion helps to compound the message of the all important 'kiss'

    Well done on this.

    Michael