Comments : My baby

  • 16 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    The messege was thought out. I liked it, but it needs a lot of work. It is in the form of a paragraph, make it into stanzas and the structure would be much better. For example:

    Welcome to the world,
    my sweet child.
    I wish I could say
    There are no fears,
    But I would be lying to you.

    There are sweet people, mean people,
    And evil people in this world.
    I wish I could keep you safe
    In my arms forever,
    And never let you go.

    I also added puncuation and fixed words such as "u" and made them "you" and I took "i" and made it capitalized. Just with a few changes like so, the poem becomes that much strong as a whole.

    Peace, Joe

  • 16 years ago

    by neo

    Lovely poem. heart felt

  • 16 years ago

    by Sonya

    I love this poem hun