Comments : Recycled Tears

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Hi...
    execellent write and very true...

    thats what most people have become and thats how life is goin... your descriptions are beautiful..

    ".. remodeled world, ..repainted people,
    ..multicolored cars.. recycled tears
    ..cardboard houses...plastic monstrosities.."
    ^^great word choice...

    great poem..

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    First off, the title captured my attention and made me read this poem and I wasn't disappointed at all. This write could be posted in the 'life' category, too, because of the whole meaning and depths of every stanza. I like your choice of words and descriptions and I agree with the message that you excellently conveyed here. Your metaphors and the imagery that you created added great impact to the whole outstanding atmosphere.
    The only thing I didn't quite understand was the ending: You wrote "Because they all are enslaved/To the Queen we call Nature." but that contradict the whole message as I see it. Maybe it would be better if you wrote "mechanical queen" or something like that. I really can't see the connection between the nature and this piece but maybe I'm wrong...
    All in all, this is greatly written.