Alright, this poem is not going to be too long, because I did enjoy this. I have never heard of this style of writing, and I really REALLY liked it.
I do get the sense of longing to be with this person, and I think many people can relate to this poem. That's a good thing. People will often like a poem more if they can relate to it.
I do think if this was just a normal poem, the word "together" would've been used to much. But for this style, and the story line, it fit. Repeating it this way just shows how much you want it.
I also thought that it was very creative that the first and last lines were the same.
If you didn't notice, which I'm sure you did, The poems can be read backwards, or forwards. I think you should put both versions in this. The front way, and the back way. It shows that this poem is more unique.
Just a suggestion.

5/5 =)
~Lace

AHEM.
In the first line of my comment, I meant
"This comment is not going to be very long"
sorry, very tired.

I actually quite enjoyed this. Sure, there is always room for improvment no matter what, but it's a very nice piece dedicated to asking the one you love, to love you back.

I thought it flowed very well, and I liked the style. I'm not good with poems that require certain number of syllables, so anyone who can write something sticking to a syllaballic [not a word, rofl], form, is cool in my book! :D

Now, suggestion time. The only suggestion I have is, maybe, not repeat "love" so much throughout the poem. I mean, afterall, it IS the title, so I don't think it needs to be stated numerous times in the actual piece. mind you, this is strictly a suggestion. :]

Five out of five. [5/5]

``Briana