Comments : Promise Me This

  • 15 years ago

    by TheRevelation

    This was breath-taking 5/5!

  • 15 years ago

    by Lu

    Promise me this as ocean tide erases printed sand
    You'll recall two lovers combing beaches hand in hand
    Gathering shells and feathers left buried 'neath the dunes
    Nature's splendor serenading phases of the moon
    ^^^
    Debbie if ever there be a stanza to steal my breath ... this be it. The imagery dances in my mind and sparkles from your pen.

    Promise me this as Winter's icy clutches beckon death
    You'll remember fireside kisses, puffs of frosty breath
    Fluffy hillside angels, lit snowflakes on the tongue
    Smiling faces lined by age, two hearts forever young
    ^^^
    I love this part also ... especially the ending line.
    Makes me want to say Awwwww

    The entire piece is mesmerizing and makes me want to read it over and over and over.
    Congrats on your win .... a wonderful piece you've penned dear friend.

  • 15 years ago

    by Kenny

    This is a very good poem. Enjoyable read to say the least.

    K~

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Debbie,

    This kind of romantic poems I love most by you. You have to be a romantic in order to make such verses!
    I enjoyed it very, very much!

    Hugs,

    Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Cindy

    Debbie
    You have painted a breathtaking scene with your words. Congrats on the win for the title challenge. Very well deserved.

    Promise me this as ocean tide erases printed sand
    You'll recall two lovers combing beaches hand in hand
    Gathering shells and feathers left buried 'neath the dunes
    Nature's splendor serenading phases of the moon

    I have just got lost in this stanza and don't want to return. So many times I have been here. A different beach, a different time, so many memories of happier days. Beautiful, just beautiful.

    Promise me this as Winter's icy clutches beckon death
    You'll remember fireside kisses, puffs of frosty breath
    Fluffy hillside angels, lit snowflakes on the tongue
    Smiling faces lined by age, two hearts forever young

    With me being a lover of winter the imagery in this stanza is so awesome. When you are with your true love you always see each other the way you did when you first fell in love.

    Remember then the moments, remember still a kiss
    If naught but love belies the deep, Oh promise! Promise this!

    The memories live forever in the heart.
    ~Bravo~~Bravo~
    Love Cindy

  • 15 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    ^Promise me this as Winter's icy clutches beckon death
    You'll remember fireside kisses, puffs of frosty breath
    Fluffy hillside angels, lit snowflakes on the tongue
    Smiling faces lined by age, two hearts forever young^

    My favorite line is the last of this stanza.

    This piece was beautifuuly penned with excellent word choice, flow and imagery. It is wonderful to be in love. A heart warming, romantic write!

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Excellent write. The imagery was outstanding. The flow of the poem was good, but could of been better with some puncuation. I can't stress it enough, puncuation is a big part of making it flow better as well the overall structure (which in your case is good except for the fact you have no puncuation)

    ``````````

    Promise me this as Springtime from eve to sunrise slips
    You'll remember passion's blush as wine upon soft lips
    Wind through willow rushes, tender sweet aubade
    Plethora of pleasures held when promises were made

    ^^Nice opening to the rest of the poem. The imagery was very vivid and it's almost like am there.

    ``````````

    Promise me this as ocean tide erases printed sand
    You'll recall two lovers combing beaches hand in hand
    Gathering shells and feathers left buried 'neath the dunes
    Nature's splendor serenading phases of the moon

    Promise me this as Winter's icy clutches beckon death
    You'll remember fireside kisses, puffs of frosty breath
    Fluffy hillside angels, lit snowflakes on the tongue
    Smiling faces lined by age, two hearts forever young

    ^^I like the repetition of "Promise me this..." it sets the tone and mood very nicely for the rest of the stanza, and makes it flow nicely as well.

    ``````````

    Remember then the moments, remember still a kiss
    If naught but love belies the deep, Oh promise! Promise this!

    ^^I loved the ending to this poem, it was so oh I don't know heartfelt. In my opinion the ending was perfect and closed it off nicely.

    ``````````

    Excellent write, keep up the great work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 15 years ago

    by Barry

    Promise me this....

  • 15 years ago

    by gracey grey

    Absolutely mellow, and heartwarming poem.Wonderful imagery.And the ending was superb!