Poor sad girl
sits alone in the window
watching passersby
live life below

[ I could totally picture this. A poor, sad little girl trapped away inside her house.. forced to watch everyone else live out their lives. Very good, sweetie. I thought it was a great opening. ]

Tired, poor boy
gazes up as he walks by
looks up at girl
sees the tears that she cries

[ I thought this stanza was totally adorable. I really, truly did. You rhymed it up so perfectly and it reminded me of the guy and girl from the movie Sweeny Todd. You can already tell that something is going to sparke between these two. ]

Girl's locked up
alone in herself
just her in that room
and some dolls on the shelf

[ This one actually creeped me out a little bit. Only because I'm absolutely terrified of dolls.. but it's totally realistic. Some girls only have their dolls to play with, not people. ]

Boy goes home
walks by every night
searches for a way
to make everything right

[ I thought this was a very sweet poem. Like I said for the other stanza, you can tell they are going to have something sparke and this proves it. It's like he was an angel sent down to help her out of her cage. ]

One day she looks down
sees his smile for her
tucks it in her heart
one little burried treasure

[ I thought this was an absolutely adorable stanza. In a way, I can totally relate. Seeing (his) smile is like a little treasure to me, so I know how this girl feels. ]

Every night she watches
waiting for him to walk by
one night....he never comes
and stars rise in the sky

[ A totally twist to the story here. I honestly did not expect it after what I was reading earlier. Makes me wonder what happened, what happened to the boy? Hopefully he was just busy, something... it makes you on edge just waiting to see what happens next. ]

His heart forgot her
left her alone
made an angel weep
as she sat at home

[ A total heartbreak ending to such a sweet poem. It was great though, I really loved how you added that bitter twist to the ending. It's very relateable and I'm sure we all know of a situation similar to this. ]

It was beautiful, amazing, wonderful. Never stop writing, my dear. Your poetry really inspires me.. I love you. 5/5 <3 <3 <3

~Kayla~

Awww hun sooo sad, please never stop writing xxxx