Comments : Death, My Love, Please Visit Me

  • 15 years ago

    by SilentlyDyingInside

    Wow great poem

  • 15 years ago

    by Andrew

    Wow love your poem, like the way you potray your emotions. Your poem flows very well, like the rhymes too. Well thought of and nicely penned. Keep up

  • 15 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Really well-done...

    And, in response, I must say:...The Truth is, death is, indeed, inevitable...The Real question is...What are we going to Do with our lives while we wait?...We absolutely Will die....Can we truly, courageously, and meaningfully, Live?

  • 15 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is amzing work, write more!! xx

  • 15 years ago

    by madlyinlove

    Wow this is a really good poem...definetly write more poems.

  • 15 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Rhyme is good, but you must hone the skill, some of it just does not seem to fit.

    Somebody save me,
    Somebody save me,
    Somebody hold me,
    Somebody take me..

    This just has too many "somebody's" in it. I didn't even read them all I would change this part to read:

    Somebody save me,
    Hold me,
    Take me..

    In the end of this write and your last I read, you seem to let go and it works wonders, you just need to apply that to all of your writing and realize they don't always have to have a rhyme scheme, bn ut if they do, it must flow.