"I am in deep sorrow and pain where no one can save me from my self"

Very powerful and emotional. A good way to start off a poem. Good job.

"i feel alone i think of my life without you in it"

I can relate to this and I'm sure many other readers can as well.

" i feel so sad when your gone when your so far away from my heart."

Again I can relate to this. I like how your putting this in to words. Its a whole lot better than I can do.

"when your not here to hold me and tell me that it all right"

Good rhyming.

I liked this poem. It was good. But I would have prefered it in stanza form but otherwise you did a perfect job in this and I can truly relate to this. Keep up the good work.

The first line really got me into the poem and made it easier to understand how you felt and in doing so, i realized how similar feelings I once had. very good!

Aww good work keep writing xxx