Awesome job but i got one suggestion. Break it up into stanzas so people won't think it's so long lol. I like the way you thought in this poem though.
-vino

I really enjoy your idea here and your thoughts are uniquely applied.
You need to check word usage as "to" does not mean the same as "too" but spell check won't catch these errors.
Your metre gets off in various spots due to over verbage. And perhaps the rhymes could be improved without changing the meaning/thought of the line. I would not want your thoughts to be changed here as they are very good.
As always these are just opinions: If you wish I could make suggestions.