Thats very good, well done, i like the way you have expressed the emotion, xx good work xx

If you are always with me,
Then where were you
As I'm getting beat again
The second time
By the one that claims he loves me?

[ Wow.. this was such an intense opening. It was amazing though. It felt me breathless. You immediately feel the pain and hurt in the first lines. ]

Where were you
When the worlds my mother said
Cute me open
Worse than my own razor does

[ This really does bring a lot of questions to mind. What was it that your mother said that hurt you so deeply? Who are you speaking to? It was really great and you definitely got your point across. Just remember to change worlds to words and cute to cut. ]

Where were you
When I was thrown out in the rain
To sleep again
Underneath your heavenly creations

[ I finally found out who exactly you were talking about throughout this poem in this stanza. It was very sad.. you showed a vulnerable (sp?) side during this stanza as well. All I could feel while reading this was coldness and loneliness. Like the entire world is against you. ]

Where were you
As I called out your name
Again and again
Begging you to end this misery and this pain

[ Even more questions now. Really, where are they? Why aren't they helping you? It makes you want to so badly know what's wrong and keeps you on edge the entire time you're reading. ]

Where were you
When I cried out your name at night
Louder than the screams
That were raging and filling my head

[ This is something I can personally relate to. So this part was sort of a heart tugger for me.. it reminded me of painful experiences I have indured myself. ]

Where were you
When my world came crashing down
Another time this week
Because of all the things that you are putting me through

[ After reading this part I really wanted to know what happened that made your world crash down. Another stanza I can relate too. Not only me, but I bet others will be able to as well. ]

If you are always there
Then where are you now?

[ A perfect little closing to such a bitter-sweet poem. I absolutely LOVED how you wrapped it up with a simple little question. As I've said before, it just kept us on edge, begging for more. ]

I thought you really out-did yourself, hunni. Very relateable and with very strong language and vocabulary. Though it didn't rhyme, you made everything come together perfectly. I loved it so much. Great job, babe. 5/5 <3 <3 <3 <3

~Kayla~

Loves, He's there....really really. he won't give you something you can't handle. this si proving how strong you really are, how much faith you really have. after the darkest part of night comes the dawn, hon, please try to remember that. the poem itself was wonderful...*hugs you tight* I'm here too. he's here, i'm here. "you got me and jesus"...it's there. he made those lungs in you, they're perfect to him. he made the air you're breathing. he's with you. you just need to remember.