Oh she bade! She bade you see
With sandy banks alluring
We the fools did take her heed
Onward! We enduring
^^^
Debbie I love this part. It just rolls off the tongue so smoothly!

Oh my love I do regret
When light and breath were one
I let go of your tender grasp
To contemplate the sun
^^
This ending touches so deeply. I love how you tied it into your opening stanza!

And your rhyme scheme flowed so nice and smooth ...

Congrats Debbie ... excellent read my friend

Debbie
What a beautifully sad poem. The imagery is great. Word choices excellent.

Touch of cloud hands, softly now
Contemplating, face to sun
Once tomorrow held no count
As if light and breath were one

Love the metaphors used in this stanza. I can just imagine the clouds gently touching. The sadness of tomorrow having no meaning any more.

Fences were for climbing then
Fresh fields no heed the bramble
Dreams and streams washed river green
Small boat to rapids gambled

Remembering the happier times. Just runing through life and enjoying yourself.

Oh my love I do regret
When light and breath were one
I let go of your tender grasp
To contemplate the sun

The sadness of losing the one yo really loved. Great job on this piece.
Congrtas for placing in the challenge :)
Love Cindy

Oh my love I do regret
When light and breath were one
I let go of your tender grasp
To contemplate the sun

Debbie...you always use the words I want to read, words of longing and melancholy*sigh*
So very beautiful, this poem....
Thank you so much for sharing:)

Hugs,

Ingrid

Yeah... it's very beautiful. Good use of the words. Lines are small and strong. And the tragic touch makes it more attractive. Very well written.

This one was perfect... absolutely flawless....

Another masterpiece from d master writer of poetries...

Keep it up...

Best wishz... karan

I comment on lot of poems and appreciate too but everytime i become speechless with your poems, as in every comment i must have said...the selection of words in your poems is unique just like you. New height is given to your imagination with just the magic of words that you use. Great poem indeed dear

all the best and take care

Lovely lovely...and lovely!