Very deep and sad, keep it up!

Claps* This would make a beautifully tragic song as well as a kick ass music video. Five out of five for sure. You did a great job. You have a very interesting writing style in the sense of how you stop in the middle of a sentence to show the rhyming words. I mean, I'm sure many read the poem incorrectly and stop at each line, but the trick is to keep reading with no stops, read it like a song.

Alot of emotion
you had voice in it- if you know what i mean
5/5

Just an idea:

Slowly my
eyes close and I fall to the ground again

slowly should start of the new line, not eyes. that way 'me' from the line before would rhyme with sea.

Great work in the detail of this poem!!