First stanza.
A moment's pretty short.
Adding "short" in it, is just reppetative.
I don't know...

With rhyming poems.
I believe the syllable counts are essential.

For your second stanza ending,
Maybe you should reword it.

Just as confidence is replaced by fear.

Suggestion.
Maybe you should change "..are replaced by fears"

I am in love with your ending.
The life we're living now IS vain.

I thought this poem had a very nice message in it.

Oh, watch the syllabication in the first stanza. Your ending line in that verse is a tad too long -- and when you're rhyming, that's a huge thing. But it still works ;)

Even the road of love and heart
Are the ones that lead to being torn apart,
`I like the concept of this, but for some reason, it sounds forced (the rhyme) when I read this out loud.

Laughs of joys become everlasting tears
Just as confidence is replaced by fear.
`Oh, oh, oh, oh. Beautiful imagery!

Our triumphs and glories are at the short end of life's stick
Emptiness and lies are what we usually mimic,
`Again, with syllabication. The second line sounds a wee bit short.

Were alive for time and rest for eternity
So just embrace and remember the happy part of your life's story.
`Apostrophe in "We're" :D Again, with syllabication. But I like the meaning behind this.

Most people's journals are filled with pain
but short hopeful paragraphs prove our existence is vain.
`I think you should edit that first of the ending stanza -- it's kind of dull compared to the beauty behind the last words. But I do agree and your message is amazing.

You're right, it's not your best, but it sure as heck ain't bad! Just a few edits here and there -- revision; I'm sure it'll be just stunning.
..__MiNDYY

A short but very beautiful and true write

Most people's journals are filled with pain
yet short hopeful paragraphs prove our existence is vain.
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
such a truthful stanza.

a beautiful rhyme and flow.

wonderful write

5/5

Keep Writing, hun
As Always,
~NinjaGirl~

Wow...
that made me think of my life huh!
I like it because It made me wonder!
well, 5/5!

Wow, this poem really makes you think, huh? I liked it and I don't usually read poems in the Life cat. So, good job. :) I thought it was wonderful.

I like this poem! It made me think a lot, seriously. I think about when I do write in my journal. It is normally about the bad things going on in my life and not about the good things. Thanks for sharing your wonderful work.

You got a gift!

I realy love your work

This had best rhyming words in it and they seem so apt. nothing can be changed inthe poem to make it better.

innosense->innocence(line 3)

5/5