It's short. Yeah, it may be a little rough. But there's always room for improvement right? I honestly don't think theres much wrong with this poem. But I will list a few suggestions. :]

"Foggy day outside not the clearest of 'em all,
But what do I care right so tiny and small,
So peaceful so alive, until it rose to nightfall,
Then the world stopped and wouldn't spin at all."
-You used all at the end of both the 1st and 4th stanza.. It threw me off a tiny bit, but I don't think it's that terrible.

"The clouds came rollin along with the fog
But what do I care right so tiny and small
Then your voice came from round the corner,
Not knowing I would never hear it again."
-I know it probably sounds better in the first line to say rollin, but if I were you i'd just change it to rolling.. if not, just put a apostrophe after rollin' ;)

Overall, I think you did a nice job again with the vocabulary. It was excellent. However, if you see any more room for improvement on this poem, Go for it.

-5/5

This is a good poem. i like the repeat of

"but what i do care right so tiny and small"

in the first and second stanza. i think maybe you should have put it in the third also.

overall, it was very well written.

good job. 5/5

I like it when his face came out of the fog
I thought it rather clever how you kept most of the poem describing the fog and telling bout the fog it was a good idea... i agree it wasnt too rough but the flow had some rough places...i like how this poem is easy to read and gets to the point and didn't feel like a chore to read....=]
i like it good job 4/5

Is this a style I am not familiar with?
You start with an aaaa rhyme then go to no rhyme at all???
"Glowing Fog" but the only glowing item is a face?
I had trouble connecting your stanzas into a story?
I think you have a good story here if you can just get it in order and flowing.
Your metre/rhythm is all over the place.

This has a nice idea/story behind it, but I do agree, it was a bit rough. Haha. :P The flow and rhyme was kind of all over the place for me, I wasn't sure where you were going with the form: it can't really be considered free verse due to the bit of rhyming it held. Still overall, your ideas/imagery is nice, and your vocab usage is swell too. [:

I think I should've read this one before I read the other poem by you... because this piece just didn't do it for me. At all.

It brings forth some imagery, but nothing really out there, y'know? I got to the end and was just like, That's it? Seriously?

When you start out with rhyming, and then draw out without it, it kind of throws off the flow of the poem and how smoothly it runs.

But what do I care right so tiny and small,
`The repetition of this line, I didn't really see what it meant. There were a variety of thoughts running through my head -- was it saying that you were so small, you didn't matter so why should you care? Or was the "I" referring to your love being tiny and minute -- so what did it matter? Just some thoughts.

But you're right -- it is rough, but I would love to read it once you go over it and edit it, because it's a nice start, but it just wasn't enough to me.
..__MiNDYY