Comments : Moment of Clarity

  • 15 years ago

    by Spoken Silence

    This was a good poem. A short one but I enjoyed reading this.

    "Blinded by the soap bubble film of life
    Deathly fantasies like eves of dawn
    Breaking forth for the world to thrive
    People sense something is wrong"

    This has such great imagery. I can clearly see everything going on in this stanza. I loved the last line. How "People sense something is wrong" Which is true people can sense when something is wrong, it doesn't mean they listen but that is why they would need a "moment of clarity"

    "A crystal smoke peaks the hills
    Paired high, my reveries call
    Accustomed to life and all its thrills
    No one notices when I fall"

    Good rhyme scheme here. Simple but it does the job right. I can see what is going on here as well. And all of this is true. With everything going on in the world today smoke can be seen everywhere. and the way you put it was put beautifully.

    "The world I'd give for all to see
    For just one moment of clarity "

    This was my favorite part of the whole poem. The last stanza, I loved the way you ended it. I also would give anything for the world to see what its doing to itself. So many issues that we have to deal with, that our children would have to deal with and so on. I'm sure anyone would give everything they had, if they can only see what is going on just for one moment of clarity like you said. Amazing. keep it up.