Comments : Stone Pillows of Our Czar Reindeer

  • 15 years ago

    by Sarah

    ِAs always.. well written and beautifully penned. Great talent 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    "still those are progenies of our Czar Reindeer"- I think that you need a comma after STILL, it would create more powerful rhythm. You should put question mark at the end of the second stanza because you asked a question there with -can I?-
    Here: -let golden production to do its job,-
    it sounds better with -let golden production do its job-
    and the last critique: In the line with "you have right to breath oxygen" breath should be breathe, because its a verb and breath is a noun.

    Those mistakes are minor compared to the power and depth of this piece. First off, I like how you connected beginning and the end of the poem and the metaphors within the whole piece are simply mind-blowing. You created whole new metaphorical world that narrates about the everyday life and the world that we live in. The third stanza is my favorite one, I like the whole concept of it, along with your brilliant choice of words. All in all, this is truly greatly written piece. Remarkable life poem, memorable and profound.