Awww well I can tell you what you described we all go though at least once.

but it was written well.

"Feelings that could mean the world to you,
Just won't come out of my mouth."

That just didn't flow from the last line in that couplet to the next section.

"I ask myself constantly, "why give up?"
And the answer to that question is, I'm afraid to get hurt."

we all are afraid to get hurt. everyone can understand that.

"These words are the most important words,
That just need to be released. They need to come out."

i think that the way you say come out doesnt fit correctly.

"I want to be with you more than anything,
I'm just terrified these most important words,
are only going to benefit you, and not me."

its the heart of the piece but it was weak. it needs to show more honest emotion. and the wording needs to be reworked a little.

"You'll be the one to move on so easily,
I'll be the one left behind trying to forget everything she ever felt. "

a good way to end. but it is a little weak too, if you strengthen the piece a little i love it.
I like the general idea. Good job

Lexie

[: I like the general idea behind this piece, but it is a little lacking. The flow was a bit rocky, and the vocabulary was just short of "poetic flare" if you will. I can sense the true and raw emotion behind each line -- but it wasn't very prominent. Still, it's really not bad at all. I think with a dash of imagination and soul it will be a wonderful read indeed. The ending line was my favorite!

Write on,
Novalyn

This poem may have started out a tad bit rocky but you finished it nicely I liked the I dea for this poem it was. . . truely unique. the feelings that one has (cold feet) before doing something that they are afraid will come back to haunt them.

Above is what I thought about your work.
You are a talented writter and you explore subjects that most people shy away from. Clearly your talent resides in love poems. Good job and keep up the good work.

Ps. Look forward to new poems.

Are the ones I struggle the most with.
`I think you should re-word it to "are the ones I struggle with the most." The way you have it makes it harder to read ... to me, anyway. And it bothers me.

You start out somewhat rocky, but it grows stronger and finishes quite beautifully. It's a simple piece, with straightforward words, and I normally abhor poetry pieces that don't include metaphors and imagery -- but I quite liked this piece.

You write in a way that's easy to relate to -- and the emotion is so raw. It's there, and it's beautiful, and it really reaches out and seeps through every single word. But there's something missing. Like you could do just a little bit more. But I love your work the way it is -- other people may not.

"I'm just terrified these most important words,
are only going to benefit you, and not me.

I'm going to be the one that gets her heartbroken,
and you're going to be the guy who just couldn't be happier.

You'll be the one to move on so easily,
I'll be the one left behind trying to forget everything she ever felt."
`Stunning. You capture every fear, and every possibility that many people look forward to when we're contemplating whether or not to confess. "are only going to benefit you, and not me." Love the choice of wording. It's quite a flawless choice actually, and it describes what happens often extremely well.

Work on your flow ... I think that's what bothers me in most of your poetry that I've read. Try playing with words and creating playful banter that stretches the imagination and leaves some things up for interpretation.

Well done, though.
..__MiNDYY

I like the poem, the main reason being how you used significant wordplay yet the meaning is still easy to find.

U r so strong and brave if u do so....This is like u prevent urslf from some kinda disease called( heart broken or getting hurt)..
This was really original...good job,keep it up:)5/5..

I see, you are love-specialist poet..aren't you ;) Writing about relationships.. How you love and feel so much... And he doesn't feel the same.. And you don't want to burn your beautiful fingers with him..

I see you are talented... And you have your own special way to write poems... I can recognise it a little bit... Anyways... What I wanted to say...is that I enjoyed reading your poems. Both of them.

You really have the talent, keep it up... Beautiful structure...carefully planned stanza and everything...It is cool. :)

This is a great poem again, but like i said before you should tell him, even though you'll get your heartbroken or something you might want you'll never know till you try, yeah it might hurt if he says no but at least you got the feelings out on the table its not hidding on you anymore.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

I kind of felt like this read more like a piece of prose rather than poetry. ... Anyhow, that doesn't matter much.

I felt that the seventh stanza here kind of messed up the form of the poem. In a way it can work for you and against you. I like that it stands out, because it mentions the one thing that the title is named after, so when reading I was kind of like, "Ah yes, so that's where this poem is going." and at the same time, I was a bit like, "What's with the random 3-line stanza?" Y'know?

Overall it's quite a sad poem. Personally, I can't really say I could relate. However, you portrayed the frustration and confusion well here, and therefore a strong sense of sympathy is gained from the reader.

Nicely done.