Comments : Quiet Heart's Confession (586) [[CONTEST]]

  • 15 years ago

    by mandy

    Absalutly beautiful...Love it darling.

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I'm really not a love poetry fan at all. >.< So I admit I'm probably being somewhat biased when reviewing this.

    I feel you could do a lot better than this. Everything just seems too simple. You could expand some imagery, increase your vocabulary, to help keep people's attention.

    For example, take this stanza:

    "But I could never do that
    In fear of being pushed away...
    I love you so much, but...
    Maybe we should stay friends..."

    There isn't very much description or detail here, it's just simple words upon simple sentences.

    I'm not trying to pick your poem to pieces or anything, this is purely my opinion. Though I feel if you just worked on expanded your description and vocab, your work could be amazing. It's not bad, but it could be better.