This is wonderful poem...So much feelings...

Wow strong one , structure wise you did a good job regarding spliting it into paragraphs and the rhyming obviosly you woked hard on it but it seem you need to work more on it ,
the feelings are good and the flow is ok , but you seem to loose control over teh feelings and like get angryu in the last couple of paragraphs in the poem , you started ok but finsihed angry

i hope you work more on that one it can be good