Uhm i can say with clear mind
you are talented girl, this i find

you rhym it good , the words are strong
and you writen short lines, not long

i love the last when he take the bow
and when you say he should leave right now

it is jsut good and a best for you i think
and you shoudl added to your featured link

at last you will get my vote,five you got
and i still still think it is little to give you, not a lot
:)