Comments : Always There

  • 15 years ago

    by Adelle

    I enjoyed this piece, and it spoke to me but I feel the repetition of:

    God says, Don't walk into temptation.
    God says, Don't ask for the trouble.
    You already know, where it is.
    And what its gonna do.

    It will always be there.
    You can count on it, you can find it.
    BUT PLEASE WALK AWAY.
    It might call your name.
    And try to force you to fall over.
    BUT PLEASE WALK AWAY.
    It's always there.
    It's always there.
    It's always THERE.

    was not needed it makes the reader lose interest. Aldo the word Don't that you have put in many times does not need capitals.