Please let me know what you think...

I liked it but it seemed like it was a bit generic. first stanza describes apathy and stanza's 1 and 2 talk about not liking yourself, while 3 talks about something inside, 4 i liked because it describes your feelings more poetically...and 5 confused me a little.

it seems like you are trying to describe a lot of feelings. it would be better if you might try and focus on certain emotions and feelings and then move to the next feeling. that way we could more easily understand what you're talking about. i'm not saying it was bad.... i'm just saying that i don't think it all necessarily fits together well.

you might try breaking down all the feelings into seperate poems or extending the length of this one. seems like you got more to describe, so why stop?

i hope i've been some help,
~Ben