Comments : Heart and Sleeve

  • 15 years ago

    by Liz

    DUDE!!! Or-DUDEDET!! I love it! Great job! Great minds think alike!

  • 15 years ago

    by tigerdan

    This poem is a little better than the other I have read of yours.;) If I was to change something, I would start with the second line to smooth it out. I would say...you can see it bleed- ommit the words... and broken- because, since the heart is bleeding, it already implies that your heart is broken. does that make sense to you? Sometimes by ommiting words, it makes it overal stronger. And other times we need to add words. Your poems and mine are not that different, and I know that yours will grow. I hope this helps you out.