Comments : Fake Smiles, And Pretend Laughs.

  • 11 years ago

    by HvN

    Great ryme, extremely sad... we need to talk :[

  • 11 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Definately sad .. Good flow and amazing rhymes.. But i think you made a little mistake on the last line:
    Why God, does this has to be me?"
    I think you meant have..

  • 11 years ago

    by Lindsey

    Wow you are an amazing poet. The flow was spot on and the rhymes were perfect. I can relate in too many ways. It was sad but beautiful. Great Job.

  • 11 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    Awsome poem, man that was great. loved every word of it. keep up the writting and don't get down, turn that frown around.
    Your Friend
    Aaron

  • 11 years ago

    by LiveLoveLearnDie

    Amazing...lots of emotion beautifully expressed..I love it

  • 11 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    VERY SAD BUT GREATLY WRITTEN HAD A LOT OF EMOTION IT WAS LIKE I COULD FEEL THE GIRLS PAIN

  • 11 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    The rhyme and flow of the poem were consistant. Word choice wasn't really there, itw as kind of just simple, but yet it was alright. It was kind of like a story poem, but it still had a rhyme and everything which was great. Emotions and feelings were clear, so great job there. Content of the poem was easy to picture, I could imagine some of it really well. I'm sure it's a poem some people could relate to. So well done. 5/5.

  • 11 years ago

    by Crippled Wing

    Awsome poem...very sad, but you did a great job putting the feelings into the daily life of a social outcast...I love the part where the person makes a made up story about spening the day with friends...I can relate to that! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by UnhealthyExpectations

    I absolutely love everything about this poem! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by carmen

    This is a excellent poem nice job

  • 11 years ago

    by RoseBlood

    Thanks for describing my life at school.

  • 11 years ago

    by Roxy

    Now this is a poem I can relate to. it's so saddening. I once felt like this and whilst I'm reading this poem as a reader I'm picturing myself as the girl for some reason. For I was once in that situation. Alone, not wanted. As soon as I read the first stanza something inside me clicked and realization sinked in and I thought to myself "God, this sounds like me...."

    Keep up the work once again :)
    mwah xxxx
    Mucho Love
    Roxy xxxx

  • 11 years ago

    by dirtyhands

    Whoa,,wtf its so sad

    "She walks alone,head down
    Counting her footsteps on the floor
    Looking for her next class
    She's early, so she waits by the door"

    this part really pictured on ma mind, like whenever i see her in personal itll make me stand up and go to her and join her to walk,,
    nice

    "The door opens, slowly but surely
    And she goes to her usual seat
    Head still down, mouth still shut
    She doesn't dare to speak."

    i like this,coz this things really happend on me,,i really hate the feeling of that,,

    "No one knows how I feel,
    No one truly even knows
    How long my life has been like this
    How far am I willing to go?"

    this part really makes me sad
    it feels like its hapenning on me,,
    like its me on that situation,,

    She whispers silently to herself
    As tears roll down her cheeks
    "What did I do to deserve this life?
    Why God, does this has to be me?"

    and this is my favorate part,,
    it seem so powerful for me,
    it makes me feel hate the world and everything on it,

    nice piece,i love it!
    keep it up!
    5/5